Breadcrumbs

Yesterday was my post op visit with my surgeon, in which we also finally got back the results from pathology. The short answer to all the most pertinent questions is: no more cancer found in the breast tissue the pathologist tested. And no cancer found in the sentinel lymph node they removed. Which means I don't have cancer any more. Which is all good news to say the least. I won't have to have radiation. I almost certainly won't have to have chemo. There might be another test to run, getting the oncotype of the tumor itself, which technically could have a finding that warrants more treatment. So there are still a couple of things to figure out, but even I in all my caution don't feel too much like I'm tempting the nonexistent-fates-of-the-most-superstitious-people-on-earth (i.e. those who do or have worked in hospitals of which I am one I can't help it) to say that it is likely that this cancer is dealt with and gone. Obviously we are super happy and celebratin...

Just a quick stop to say I'm doing OK. People who see me keep telling me I look like I'm doing well so that's something? I'm up and about around the house, taking walks in the evening just a little, though have yet to try the hill up to the green. Ice packs and various sized pillows are my friends. Pain hasn't been terrible and I'm making very good use of those Costco sized bottles of OTC drugs that previously seemed silly to purchase as in "there's no way we will finish this before the expiration date." Well, maybe this time around we will.  I slept so much for the first 2 days home, napped like I have never napped before. I'm still resting a lot but not necessarily sleeping like a newborn. Buoyed by Michael as an extremely lovely and attentive caregiver and yes there are charts for when I take my meds and empty drains and he is on top of things. But mostly he's just very kind which is what I need. Had some time with watch silly TV with Jo...

Michael writing. We could have stayed the night in the recovery room, but chose to go home instead, a decision we made about 4pm and left the hospital about 7. The main upside of this was being with the kids, tastier dinner, and possibly better rest.  The main downsides was the drive home (20 minutes or so, not too bad), no hospital bed that can be easily adjustable in hundreds of ways, and the possibility of being tempted to do too much.  All of the upsides were really up, and the downsides were not too bad, though we had to try many different resting places and positions with pillows acquired in expectation of this and additional pillows in the house.   Cat fell asleep on the couch after a yummy dinner provided by friends (thanks LBs!). The idea was to take a short nap and then maybe watch some TV as a family.  The short nap was turning pretty long and she was deeply asleep, so I told the kids we might just be done for the night and then fell asleep myself....

Cat is out of surgery and everything went as planned. Just before surgery, our pastor Ben came to offer a prayer with the two of us and our surgeon.  She's a little groggy and starting to eat a turkey sandwich.    

One last thing. I mean, yes, it is already technically "tomorrow" as in surgery day but my body is still vaguely on West Coast time so maybe in my spirit it is still the day before surgery. Which means earlier today (i.e. Sunday August 17) I got injected with radioactive tracers/dye/something-or-other over in the magical nuclear medicine building so they can find my sentinel lymph node because that all sounds very normal. You know who else was radio active?  Peter Parker. And also Mile Morales. AKA you friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man. Spider-Men? You get it. Lots of you know I have a strong affinity for super hero movies and genre tales and lore. And if you want me to go real nerdcore on you ask me sometime about the fantastic film Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and the thoroughly Anabaptist take that "anyone can wear the mask" as good Marvel theology. I'm not claiming any super hero status I'm just enjoying the confluence and living into thinking about...

At the very beginning of all this cancer business I was told that I would probably have some choices to make about my treatment, particularly regarding the kind of surgery I would have. That, yes, I would need to have surgery. But that given the size (small), shape (well circumscribed I believe is the term), and some other details (insert medical medical medical) I had options. Without going into all the gory details, either the fleshy gory kind or the emotionally vomitus gory kind, I thought I would say a few things about the decisions I came to and how I got there and where it might be going. I've had bits and pieces of this conversation with lots of people over the last 5+ weeks, from my medical team, to my family, to my therapist, to friends, lots with Michael, but also with strangers I met on the internet who are cancer survivors and strangers who are friends of friends who took time to talk with me on the phone, over email, over chats. The conversations have been helpful and ...